(Part Two of ‘A Pansy Speaks’, originally published in Boys Today! magazine, December 2037.)
Part Two: How to be a pansy
By Daniel Maybright
How to define pansy? The most important elements are childlike innocence and old-fashioned femininity. Its influences come from the clothes girls wore in the 18th century and the Victorian period, and from the 1950s. There’s also a debt to the ‘lolita’ fashions that started in Japan in the late 1980s. No one outfit says everything about being a pansy, and it’s not only about clothes: there’s also a pansy lifestyle which I’ll say more about later.
Why are some boys choosing pansy? It is an escape from the dullness of real life, and from the desperately outdated cliché of the rough, tough boy. When a boy puts on a dress covered in frills and bows, ties a ribbon in his hair and slips his feet into mary janes, he is kissing goodbye to the pressure to be aggressive, to get dirty or drink too much, to chase around fields doing sports, to be competitive with girls, and generally swagger about like a moron. Putting on pansy is like stepping into a fresh spring garden where your anxieties swish away.
Of course, dressing ‘like a girl’ is historically very humiliating for a boy and means he is admitting defeat in the battle of the sexes. This is the most difficult step of all. Most boys are scared stiff of having to dress and act like pretty girls! But nowadays it’s the girls who will get jobs and earn money and rule in the big wide world. Let them! If girls want to be like boys, pansies say, then we boys will become like girls… trad girls, anyway. If a boy can accept that girls come first and his own role is secondary, he can enter a sweet and simple world.
Above all, pansy lets a boy wear some of the most gorgeous clothes ever made. Wearing pansy is a dreamy, delightful experience. I love putting an outfit together, from the hairbow down to the dress, tights and shoes, and it makes me excited to be so pretty. I can look through boyswear catalogues for hours, dreaming – my parents would say ‘obsessing’! – about how I’d look in this or that dress. I don’t even own a pair of trousers any more. There are so many little extras, like makeup and earrings and pretty gloves, that you can easily get lost in it all. Things aimed at boys are becoming so adorable now, and not just clothes. Even alarm clocks or mugs with our names on are available in pink or with hearts on. Obviously not all boys are pansies like me. You can be newboy without being a pansy. Either way, if a boy wants, everything in his little world can be enchanting and pretty.
Advertisement for a Candyboys dress.
I’ll talk readers briefly through pansy fashion.
My hair was quite short when I started and some boys like to wear wigs or hairpieces to give them lovely long hair they can tie ribbons into. Personally I prefer to keep it real. When I started wearing pansy it was enough to wear a hairbow while my hair grew longer. Now it’s longer I can crimp it, wear it in pigtails or try other nice things. You notice straightaway that pansies are constantly preening their hair! We’re proud of our pretty hair as it’s one of the marks of what we consider a proper modern boy.
Some pansies love bonnets, but personally I find them a bit childish. There are some really adorable bonnets and they work for some boys. More common is a headdress, a piece of cloth you can tie around your head with a ribbon.
The most important thing after your hair is a dress or a skirt. This is what really marks you out. Obviously boys didn’t use to wear these and it’s still quite a new thing, so it is a big moment in a boy’s life when he puts on skirts for the first time. Again, it’s the moment when he admits to himself that girls are on top and that he has to accept a new, inferior place. In my view a boy should forget about wearing shorts and trousers. They belong to girls now.
Dress shopping is great fun. There are several pansy brands now and it’s expanding really fast. The obvious ones are Candyboys and Tommy – another is the online-only Pansies ‘N’ Cream. Some boys rely on catalogues because they’re too shy to try on dresses in shops, but unless you’re only going to wear your dress in your bedroom, you have to get over that. And you need to try things on, especially when you’re new, to get the right size.
Pansy skirts tend to have a distinctive ‘A’ silhouette. Some come with their own layers of net and gauze but you’ll want to buy petticoats as well to really fill them out. A pansy’s skirts MUST be full and poofy! The joy of being a boy in today’s world is wearing lovely petticoats under your dress that rustle and fluff out your skirts. An absolute must. Don’t wear your old briefs under your dress! There are pretty knickers now and if you want the full deal you can wear bloomers, which I recommend as they help fill out your skirts.
When you buy your first dress make sure you really love it. Visit the online communities to ask other boys about different dresses and shops. If you buy a skirt remember you’ll need a blouse as well – your old T-shirts won’t match! In the beginning try to put together one full outfit that works, finishing it off with some tights or stockings and some pretty shoes. You build your wardrobe as you go along. Buying lots of clothes is expensive, so unless your mum is a really big earner you’ll want to stick to only a few things you really love, or look for second-hand deals in shops or online.
You hear boys saying they can’t wear pansy because they’re tall, or quite broad, or they could never pass for a girl. Remember, pansy is not about pretending to be a girl! Girls rarely wear dresses any more. You don’t have to hide your adam’s apple or give yourself pretend breasts or call yourself Tiffany Marie! It’s true that pansy strikes some people as strange, even ridiculous, but that’s only because they need time to get used to it as a boy fashion.
I could talk for hours about clothes, but if you want more detail you can look at the Boys Today! website which has a whole section on how to be a pansy. Instead I want to finish with some comments on how to behave.
Pansy isn’t just about clothes: it’s a whole way of life for boys. A pansy would never get involved in traditional ‘boyish’ behaviours. It simply feels wrong. Nowadays, it’s girls who are rough, play sports, get muddy and get into fights. If girls are doing those things, a pansy wants to do the opposite, because it’s important for boys to be different. It’s an identity thing. From my first days as a pansy, I felt myself changing how I walked and behaved, even without meaning to. Respect for girls and their authority is a rule. A pansy won’t argue with a girl, let alone try to fight one. He doesn’t contradict a girl if he can help it, or talk back to her, and never shouts or interrupts. He moves delicately because he doesn’t want to get his beautiful dresses or stockings dirty. He takes care over his appearance, and cultivates good manners and grace: he walks primly, sits up straight and uses proper etiquette at the table. He always has a smile on his face and has a kind heart.
I know there’s a debate over whether it’s nature or nurture but either way, the society we live in gets more female-dominated every year. Girls are the boss. It’s something we boys have to accept, and pansies turn it into a positive by welcoming girls’ dominance. A pansy is demure, shy and knows his place – and girls love it.
Nothing is more attractive to the modern alpha girl than a pansy!
There are loads of resources springing up on the internet about pansy fashion and lifestyle. The online communities are growing at an incredible rate as more and more boys embrace the joys of pansy – the biggest are Prettyboys.com and Flounces.com. You can share makeup tips, tell other boys where you found your dream dress, etc. It’s great to see boys taking hold of their new identity and creating it themselves. So off you go, lads, get some frills in your life!
In part three, Daniel offers some advice for going pansy in public.